Dear Self,

            We called him. *sigh. What the hell did we want? Did you think that everything would be okay by calling him? Did you think that by just finding his name in your phonebook and pressing the call button & hearing his voice that everything would be okay? Well it's not! How naive of you. I thought that phase was over. I thought we'd be over him by now. JANICE! CHECK THE CALENDER! It was 2 YEARS ago! MOVE ON! You're killing both of us. One day the physicall part will catch up to your emotionall wreck. Get over him. Not for him, not for the world but for you.

Sincerely,
Janice

Dear Self (Response),

            I know... WHY CAN'T I GET OVER HIM? Why is it that the one thing I want, is the one thing that hurts? I know that sounds dramatic but what other way to put it? I'm so weak. I know people who've had it way worse. Was it because he was perfect? or because I fall too easily? Oh self. He was so good to us. He was like an antidote to any pain I had. And his poems... oh, his poems. It's a shame that he stopped writing. He always said the sweetest things. He always knew how to make me feel better, knew how to sympathize, knew how to make everything go away. "i dont want you to be getting hurt. i'll take your pain away." "feels so good to have met you." Damnit! WHY?! Why did I have to fall in love with someone so far away? "You give me strength". Well now I need HIM to give ME strength. I need that "feeling" again. The one where if I heard his voice or saw his smile... the whole world would stop... just for me so that I could cherish that moment for as long as I wanted to. If this isn't love... then what the hell is? No.. Don't tell me to get over him. Life may not be like the movies, but nothing's impossible. So let the world pass by as I wait. I don't think I'll ever get over this one, self.

Sincerely,
Janice